Back in March, when previews for Remember Me were on TV all the time, I commented that I couldn’t figure out what the movie was about, but I knew it was something I wouldn’t want to see. And then Robert Pattinson went on the Daily Show. So on Friday, I spent two hours watching the movie, and, even after finishing, I couldn’t really tell you what it’s about.
Here’s my best shot. Tyler (Pattinson) is a depressed young adult dealing with his brother’s suicide, his rocky relationship with his father (Pearce Brosnan), and general malaise. After Tyler gets in a fight with a cop, his roommate Aidan (Tate Ellington) dares him to ask out the cop’s daughter, Ally (Emilie de Ravin). Tyler does, and the two begin a relationship.
The thing is, throughout the entire movie, I was trying to figure out what story they were trying to tell. The sappy piano heavy score and Pattinson’s brooding made it clear they were going for a Notebookesque vibe, but there was no real plot. In the last 15 minutes of the movie an attempt was made to justify why these people’s lives were important, but it didn’t succeed. The twist seemed gimmicky and was a cheap way to get people emotions.
Even taking account that they were not given much to work with, the actors certainly did not impress me. It was abundantly clear that the actors with the three largest parts (Pattinson, Brosnan, and de Ravin) were all foreigners putting on American accents. Patinson’s was good and Brosnan had only a few slip-ups, but de Ravin’s was just horrible to the level of distraction.
As you may expect, Remember Me gets a 1/5. Though making fun of it is enjoyable, it’s not enough to make it worth watching.
Tune into the Daily Shill every weekday this week for a new review. Still to come, my thoughts on Revolutionaries, The Kids Are All Right, Losers, and (probably) The Big Short.